The Good, The Bad And The Ugly
I swam my first 1600 meter set today. Not without resting here and there, and not without a length of breaststroke thrown in here and there... but, it was my first real mile in the pool. Just like the day I ran my first mile, I feel like I have reached another milestone.
One of the reasons I get so much out of this sport is that because I'm so new to it, it is filled with a multitude of new experiences for me. My first mile, first 1600 meters, first 12k, first time on an awards podium, lots of PR's, first spandex! HA!
And, I have so much to still look forward to! First 1/2 marathon, first Olympic Tri, first run in the rain, in the snow, after dark on a hot summer night. Oh, I can't wait!
My excitement is tempered by Ursula's precarious health situation. She has not been able to have the experimental drug, that we credit with reversing her liver and bone tumors, for over two months. This is due to her kidneys not functioning well. After being off the drug for so long, we were certain that the kidney function would have improved, but that was not the case. She is still on a regular weekly schedule of chemotherapy, but I think if her health doesn't allow her to continue with this clinical trial, she will want to stop treatment all together and take a break.
Now, I'm sure I don't need to tell you that two plus years of chemotherapy is no picnic... and while I know she would give just about anything to feel "normal" again, even for a month or two, I'm not sure it's worth the risk. No one knows what will happen to those tumors once the chemo is stopped, even for a short time. I wish I could trade places with her so she didn't have to go through this.
I have to say, she is very strong and very intelligent. She will consult with the docs and myself and we will all come to some kind of decision. She did just have a CT scan which showed no tumor growth. Next will be a PET scan which shows if the remaining tumors are still alive. While my greatest fear is that we are about to enter the next stage of her disease, for all we really know at this point is that she could be one of the 2% that actually go into remission.
Enough.
One of the reasons I get so much out of this sport is that because I'm so new to it, it is filled with a multitude of new experiences for me. My first mile, first 1600 meters, first 12k, first time on an awards podium, lots of PR's, first spandex! HA!
And, I have so much to still look forward to! First 1/2 marathon, first Olympic Tri, first run in the rain, in the snow, after dark on a hot summer night. Oh, I can't wait!
My excitement is tempered by Ursula's precarious health situation. She has not been able to have the experimental drug, that we credit with reversing her liver and bone tumors, for over two months. This is due to her kidneys not functioning well. After being off the drug for so long, we were certain that the kidney function would have improved, but that was not the case. She is still on a regular weekly schedule of chemotherapy, but I think if her health doesn't allow her to continue with this clinical trial, she will want to stop treatment all together and take a break.
Now, I'm sure I don't need to tell you that two plus years of chemotherapy is no picnic... and while I know she would give just about anything to feel "normal" again, even for a month or two, I'm not sure it's worth the risk. No one knows what will happen to those tumors once the chemo is stopped, even for a short time. I wish I could trade places with her so she didn't have to go through this.
I have to say, she is very strong and very intelligent. She will consult with the docs and myself and we will all come to some kind of decision. She did just have a CT scan which showed no tumor growth. Next will be a PET scan which shows if the remaining tumors are still alive. While my greatest fear is that we are about to enter the next stage of her disease, for all we really know at this point is that she could be one of the 2% that actually go into remission.
Enough.
posted by Barb at 9:44 AM
3 Comments:
Barb, Ursula and you are in my thoughts and prayers. Wish I could offer more. =\
as for the swimming, you go girl. i'm not quite at a mile myself and its hard work. so kudos to you. thats awesome.
there is something pretty cool about all the newness isn't there? and there is always room for improvement. which makes it even more fun.
Both of you are very brave. Stay strong, keep fighting and know that all of us out here are pulling for you. Your positive attitude it total inspiration.
And as for the newness of triathlon - it doesn't seem to go away! There's always something you can improve on - something new to learn...I'm going into my 5th season and I still feel like a total newbie!!! So many firsts to discover yet.
Hang in there and train hard!!
Hey thanks you guys. I really appreciate your support. The future can be scarey to think about sometimes. But, it is just that... the future. Better to live for today and appreciate what you've got.
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