Suck It Up, Buttercup!

Do you have an irrational fear? Something, that at the very thought of it, makes your heart race, and your resolve weaken? Something that causes you to doubt the legitimacy of your goals and question the sweat equity you've rightfully earned?

I probably have several, but the most pressing at the moment is the fear of open water swimming. My first lake swim of the season is this weekend. Honestly, I don't think some of these ponds around here even deserve the title "open water", since the term seems to signify something larger and scarier than what I will be facing. But, just like my first open water swim, I have that apprehensive feeling in my gut that can only be described as 'fear'... Irrational as it may be.

Over the last couple of days, I've had several conversations with whomever happen to have the misfortune to be close by... usually my partner, Urs. They tend to go something like this:

Me: I think it's very rare that people get eaten during open water swims.

Urs: People don't get eaten during swims!

Me: Sure they do! Remember that 15 year old surfer girl who got her arm bit off?

Urs: That was by a shark! When was the last time you saw a shark in Medical Lake?

Me: Well... not ever. But I'm thinkin' there could be some Giant Squid in there! What do you know about Giant Squid?

This is about where I get "The Look" and wisely change the subject.

What seems so odd about this fear, is that I can not only swim... but I'd say I am an above average swimmer. So, it's not like I'm lacking in the skills department and there is any risk of me drowning. (Aside from the obvious dangers of any triathlon mass swim start.) The Very worst thing about this fear is that it tries to stand in the way of something that is important to me. It tries to make me say 'I can't'.

Which brings us to the next question, although somewhat cliche... Why I Tri?

I do Triathlon because it's hard! I do it because nothing is handed to you... you earn every swim stroke, every pedal crank and every running step. I do this crazy sport because it reminds me that nothing is impossible, no goal unreachable. You do the work, you get the prize. Through the fear of the swim, the adrenalin of the bike and the pain of the run... I feel ALIVE! I am damn thankful to have the ability to do this and have the tenacity to see it through. Yes, I am very fortunate, and I take nothing for granted. And I will not let some swim in a pond stop me from taking what is rightfully mine.

So... here is how it will go on Sunday. I will toe the line at the edge of the lake. Not at the side, not at the back, not where it's safe... but right in the freaking front! I will be the first into the water and I will swim my ass off! And when I exit the water, all I'll be thinking about will be my transitions... all of them.